Naughty Jester
Innuendo’ed musings on life, the universe and nothing in particular
Metaphysical musings on oral
Do you use a vibrating one or do you go au natural? I’m talking oral hygiene here. Toothbrushes.
The other day I lollygagged into the bathroom and noticed mine glistened with that just used wetness. Funny, I hadn’t I inserted it in my mouth all day. Immediately, like those observant bears, I suspected Goldilocks of foul play. So I confronted my blonde friend and lo and behold, she admitted to using my toothbrush. Had been, in fact, for months.
Gross!
In my travels, I have eaten monkey brains, the occasional dog or cat (paw licking good) and even watched a shark maul a baby seal (on TV) and not even flinched. But the idea of someone using my toothbrush gives me the willies.
I looked at the head, all those moist bristles, and thought, Oh My God, there is a bacterial orgy going on down there. I read (on the internet) that a human mouth produces more squirrely microbes than a dog and pig’s mouth combined.
“Ah, but we kiss,” she attempted to explain, “Frenchy style.”
“Yes we do swap spit, labia lounge, tongue tie. But this is different. Our combined bacteria don’t reproduce willy-nilly in a warm, wet environment…”
I would have continued with my logical reprimand but she used her favorite tactic to shut me up. She kissed me.
Do you ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
Comments
6 Responses to “Metaphysical musings on oral”
eeewwwwwww….
pam | September 7th, 2009, 5:54 pmno way!
I don’t even like using some else’s cell phone.
Scott | September 7th, 2009, 6:15 pmmy my
poor man…
goldilocks would never
use your tooth brush
only borrow once or
twice or just a few times…
the three bears have big mouths….
goldilocks | September 7th, 2009, 8:24 pmPam, tell me about it!
Scott, yes cell phones get so much spit on the recievers ….
goldilocks … all the better to bite u with!!! the jig is up … you’re busted for your toothbrush sharing ways!!!
Naughty Jester | September 7th, 2009, 8:34 pmThis cracked me up. I don’t even like the love of my life to use by tube of toothpaste, because she just squeezes anywhere she wants. I only like it to be squeezed at the bottom. I use a sonicare, have for years. The hygienist loves that I do as it cuts down the time to clean my teeth. I certainly do not want brush in anyone elses mouth, whether we kiss or not. That’s why she has her own attachment.
This was great!!
Dan
karaspoet | September 9th, 2009, 5:52 amdan…does that mean you
like your bottom squeezed…
ooo la la…….
goldilocks | September 9th, 2009, 1:59 pmAdd A Comment