Naughty Jester
Innuendo’ed musings on life, the universe and nothing in particular
Sexy Golf
Have you ever had that feeling of sweet relief that comes from nailing a great shot? I mean just pulling out the Big Dog and letting her rip? I have. But I came to the game late. So I never really developed a short game to speak of. My long game, however, rocks. I’m from the ‘Grip it and Rip it’ school of driving. So while I’ve experienced many different courses, I’m still basically licked by every one I try.
You see I’m the World’s expert on foreplay. Meaning, I’m shanking it in the rough or plunking it in the drink or pulling it out-of-bounds and yelling ‘Fore’ on practically every hole. It gets embarrassing sometimes. But it doesn’t dissuade me. No, I just redouble my efforts.
“Get some good wood under the ball and take the next hole as it comes,” I always say.
I love that you can play in twosomes, threesomes and hell, if you’re kinky, even foursomes. There are also all sorts of equipment to help you get around: push carts, ball washers, you name it. And after knocking it up close I love to putter up and tap it in. I get frustrated, however, when I lip the rim and my ball spins out. That really sucks.
But for all my omnifarious adventures, I’m a hole-in-one virgin. I know given my love of the game and my frequency of playing that you’re probably thinking the odds are pretty high that I’d have sunk one by now. But alas, it eludes me. Which brings me to today’s questions …
Any advice on how to sink the ever elusive hole-in-one?
Have you ever shot one?
If you had choice between playing a round of golf or reading blogs for four hours which would you chose?
Comments
11 Responses to “Sexy Golf”
Too funny. I have a home course, and I am a scratch golfer there . . .
tysdaddy’s last blog post..Rudder
tysdaddy | April 30th, 2009, 7:02 amhate to say it … but will. scratch golfer sounds like a links std …. sorry, that was bad.
Naughty Jester | April 30th, 2009, 7:18 amyeah.. i hate when that happens.. i call it a stinger.. would make more sense to call in a bruiser though.
i had a run on hole-in-one’s once playing put-put.. but these darned mosquito’s swarmed me and ended my streak…
julie | April 30th, 2009, 7:35 amkind of like the yankees in that fateful game vs. redsox when the mosquitos attacked them and threw off their mojo ……
Naughty Jester | April 30th, 2009, 7:51 amyes.. sort of like that.. except it was the yankees vs. the indians.. and they were midges not mosquitos.. but yes.. almost exactly like that.
makes sense as i am considered a “yankee” in NC where it happened;)
go tribe!
julie | April 30th, 2009, 8:42 ami
mmm... | April 30th, 2009, 11:23 amlike
golf
balls~
i never knew that
Naughty Jester | April 30th, 2009, 12:20 pmI’d rather read blogs.
pam | April 30th, 2009, 5:29 pmWell.. Unless it’s mini golf!
Just don’t tell my uncle, he’s the golf pro for Dupont Country Club.
wow, i wish i had a golf pro uncle …..
Naughty Jester | April 30th, 2009, 6:25 pmBuy a pair of very cheap socks.
Within a wek you’ll get a hole in one.
Surendra | May 1st, 2009, 2:50 amMaybe you need to borrow Dan’s woods. They’re real wood!
Joy | May 1st, 2009, 5:04 pmAdd A Comment