Naughty Jester
Innuendo’ed musings on life, the universe and nothing in particular
Almond Joy
So a good friend recently bought two, long cylindrical sheath like bags of nuts and shared her tasty delights with me. They were “Bold” brand Blue Diamond almonds.
“Smart Snatch,” I exclaimed, squinting mightily at the packaging.
“Smart Snack,” she corrected.
I fingered the first green bag open and popped the oval shaped buttons of joy into my mouth.
“Hot, spicy. Ummmmm.”
“Those are the wasabi flavored,” she opined as she deftly jimmied more nuts out of the second, blue bag.
“Wow, these are hard and tasty. Salty too.”
“Ah, those are salt’n vinegar flavored,” I said as I read the back label out loud, “Scientific evidence suggests but does not prove that eating one helping of nuts per day like almonds and a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol may reduce the risk of heart disease.
“Damn,” I continued, “That’s like saying, ‘wanton sex and a healthy diet and regular exercise may win you the lottery.’ They’re totally unrelated. Unless you happen to win the lottery.”
Would you rather have wanton sex or win the lottery?
Comments
6 Responses to “Almond Joy”
lol.. funny stuff!
if i win the lottery i’ll have tons of time for wanton sex.. yes.. i choose lottery:)
j | April 23rd, 2009, 4:43 amyou think
one helping
of nuts is
all one needs
to stay healthy?
i know all about
bold nuts…shy nuts
are much harder to coax
out of the bag…
sucking off the vinegar and
salt was sooo yummy….and the
wasabi….had quite a spurt
of taste….leaving one wanting
more~
you have anymore
nuts left naughty jester…
good morning…
tis oh nutty one here….
cheers & ooo la la~
oh nutty one~ | April 23rd, 2009, 5:58 amWell, since I only want meaningful sex, I’ll choose the lottery, which BTW I count my winnings every morning as I go by the big sign on Hwy 40. The thing is I have to buy a ticket which I haven’t done since it reached $300MM several years ago. Oh well . . .do you have salt and vinegar almonds to share?
D~
Daniel Wilson | April 23rd, 2009, 6:03 ami like your logic
Naughty Jester | April 23rd, 2009, 7:38 amoh nutty one, yes a helping a day they say!
Daniel, alas i polished off all my tart almonds …
Naughty Jester | April 23rd, 2009, 7:42 ambeen reading…
found a link between
libido and almonds….by
accident of course….
looking up tofu and libido…lol~
anyhow here is the almond link~
Nuts — All nuts play a role in supporting libido, since they contain high levels of essential fatty acids that are critical to the production of the hormones we all need to stay amorous. They’re also rich in L-Arginine, great for improving circulation and enhancing erectile response.
What’s more, the smell of almonds actually is purported to act as an aphrodisiac that attracts women. And pine nuts are packed with zinc, critical for healthy sperm.
nuts and healthy sperm production…who would have guessed?
the food link to libido~
http://www.onlinedater.org/articles/boost-your-libido-21-foods-to-increase-your-sex-drive-naturally/
miss you darlin~
oh nutty one~ | April 23rd, 2009, 9:36 amAdd A Comment